Laughing Skin
by Servant of Fire
Summary: "Get out of my house!" It still echoed in Dean's ears. His heart was a cavern until he looked at the stars. The first star he saw meant Sam. "I'm coming home, little brother." Dean could not believe his luck. If what Death said was true, Sam was free. Free from Lucifer, the Cage, all of it. All there was left to do was find him.
1. Chapter 1

**Laughing Skin:**

**To a better tomorrow_your life is worth living.**

Cigarettes, the incense of death. All the room_ death. The newspapers rolling in the steam from the deli's frier_a billowing gray_an aura announcing. The smell of blood from the butchery washroom in the back_ a grocer's daily work. The glint of a bread knife.

Death himself, of course. Seated in infamy. Long, pale fingers coated in salt. Lips twisted and sardonic as he eats_some obscure fried treat_the house special.

Dean stares. Dean who is washed in whiskey, stained in motor oil and the blood of savage monsters. Deported here by the hate and lust of a woman he thought he trusted.

"You seem surprised to see me." Death wipes his lips. Dean swallows.

"Nothing surprises me now…"At that, the bereft elder brother sat with the spirit who had condemned his junior to die in a horrific manner all to save the world.

"Rejection...Ah, yes, a form of death. I'd offer you my condolences, but I don't do that." Death tilts his head and taps his cane on the deli floor. Like that, the denizens of the small grocery disappear. They leave Dean and his old friend alone.

"So, this is the end? That's why you brought me here?" Dean smiles. He'd actually hoped for this. After a month of driving around in a complete daze, this would be the conclusion. His sob story at last in pause.

"That's defeatist. To say that death is the ending and not merely a pause for reflection on all that is Cosmic. But then you are finite." Death draws up. All business.

"And no. The answer, is no, of course. I came to tell you that the things that should never have been are coming undone." Death nods. Dean looks up. What could that mean?

"The Apocalypse is back on?" Dean swallows.

"No. That was always inevitably going to be foiled. As I said, there is no true end, just the falling away from what is fixed. I mean your brother. Sam. Sam was never supposed to go into the hole with Lucifer and Michael. Yet he did. Because it was not meant to be it is...coming untrue." Death sort of smiled. Dean stared at him and stared.

"If this is some kind of trick I_"

"Will do what? Kill me? I am Death. Every form of mine that fades away is reanimated under a different face. You will do nothing but listen." Death held up his hand and Dean was made mute.

Death nodded and stood up.

"Go to the place I have marked on the map I have drawn in the stars...There. You will find the one your soul is lacking." Death turned away, whistling, and walked out the door. The grocery filled with people again. The scent of cigarettes resumed_incense in the wake of him who silent came and silent went.

Dean stormed outside. The sun was going down. The first star pointed the way.

The first star he saw meant Sam.

Dean burst into tears, fists clenched, uncaring. For the first time in months, there was a discernable road ahead.


	2. Chapter 2

**Somewhere under the same star_**

He doesn't remember who he is. Only, that his skin laughs at him. That it is scarred. Deeply scarred. Written with a lot of mocking, scrawling scripts, Enochian. Mockery mostly. Jokes that he can read, but have lost their context. He's not even so sure how he can read them.

Sam puts his shirt back on weary of the sight of his jeering body. Riot whines beside him. He turns to smile at the dog. The dog found him after the car hit him. The driver left him lying in a ditch to die. Only he didn't. He wasn't sure why he didn't. Maybe it was the blue light that came from the scars that revived him on the verge of Death.

Sam laid down with his head on the dog's shoulder. The train rattled on the bridge above. The bridge and her bones spoke, howled, cussing him. Telling him to get a move on. Sam wasn't in a hurry.

He watched the sky. It was sunset here. Looking at that star, faint, a pinpoint over rose brushstrokes, he felt a strange sensation. His hand stretched up before he knew why. Someone else, somewhere out there, was watching the same star. That, someone, was looking for him. He could sense it in his bones.

"I can't wait to meet you." Sam's nose wrinkled at his own sappiness. The dog nuzzled him.

"I know...It's crazy. Still, I can feel them. There's somebody. Someone like me. With 10 fingers total on their hands. You'll get it when we get there. For now, we have to fight the bug ugly black-eyed things." Sam opens one of his beers. He sips it quietly, playing with Riot's ears until they both doze off.


	3. Chapter 3

**One road**

Dean woke up in the backseat, panting, sweating. His eyes were streaming tears, but he couldn't feel a thing.

"Get out of my house!" Words he'd never wanted to hear. The words that meant his hope of keeping his promise were shattered.

_You go live some normal, apple-pie life…_

Dean wiped his face, flinching, swimming against the current. Another breakdown was an imminent disaster.

Then...He looked up. A chance. Just a peep up through the steering wheel. The star caught him. Stabbed him with its fierce love. The heavens were cheering him on. The saints gathered to watch the race.

One road. One finish line. Something like coming back to life.

Because if anything Death said was true,then Sam was at the end of that line.

It wouldn't be easy, but_

Dean crawled into the front seat.

It hadn't happened since Sam was little. Once, when they were starving. When Sam was still innocent and little and lying spread out on a motel bed, jeans tied by a dog leash.

Dean had never felt so desperate to make Sam happy. Make him whole again.

"I love you."

He'd never had the courage to tell him that while he lived. Too manly maybe. Too stupid, mistaking manliness for guardedness… He flinched inside himself. His bones ached.

Never before, until he remembered the breaking of Sam's soul, the last moment in his eyes.

_It's okay, Dean. It's gonna be okay._

Every moment since then had NOT been okay.

Not until now.

Dean had cried for so many reasons in his life. Only when he was alone or with Sam. Sam who was his center of gravity. Fear, anger, sadness. He'd cried for these things.

Never for love. Not until now.

Dean switched the car on. He was tired in his bones, but it didn't matter. His soul longed for peace. He'd only find it one place.

He didn't know where he was going, but he knew he was going home.


	4. Chapter 4

**Rain like mercy_**

He'd been walking in the rain all his life. His life was 3 days long. It didn't bother him at all. Sam was dancing. Circles and geometric figures. Shouting, fists swinging. Laughing and singing. Free from something, but who's to say?

_Hey, Jude! _He sang. Riot barked along. They splashed like children down the path. Orbiting that one star.

Sam felt like a little kid. He'd seen himself in a puddle and guessed he was a grown-up man. Probably 27 or so. Yet he was alive again. That for only 3 days grace. It was raining like mercy. He chose to let it rain, while he spun and spun.

The amulet at the end of his neck glowed blue. He had no idea what it was made out of. It was a lamp unto his feet, a light unto his path.

_Where are we going? _Riot barked. Sam guessed what he was saying. The question seemed to fit his eyes.

"Home! Home. We're going home!" Sam patted the dog and chased him. The dog yapped and pawed the air. Pleased with the answer he had gotten.

Who would be there when they reached it? Sam tilted his head. The question hadn't occurred to him until just now. But then, he was only 3 days old.

"We'll know when we find them, Riot. Maybe they will love us too…"Sam already loved the person at the other end of the star. Why he didn't know. Something told him the life before had been full of love and sacrifice. No way could the road be so hard, scattered thorns and stones which nipped his heels, even while he danced for life and joy.

"What if we're looking for God, Riot?" Sam touched the glowing pendant at his neck. He'd never met God and yet he felt like they knew each other somehow.

He had a lot to learn. The pity of being born again was to be born as ignorant as a baby screaming for thirst. He leaned his head back and drank the rain. Vampires howled in the distance. He swung his machete ready for them.

The night sang with hate for this newborn hunter. Sam smiled. He could feel nothing but the love in his heart that made him live. The brag of his heart whispered to him_

_They're out there, they're out there, they're waiting for you! _

If his heart spoke for love, then Sam decided to let it lead.


	5. Chapter 5

**Newspaper_**

Dean stopped to ask the locals. One of them handed him a newspaper.

"Yes, I've seen that guy! Never seen anybody taller than that. He was confused. Walking barefoot. Had a dog with him." The girl smiled. She then fell all over herself, an ice skater in the minefield.

"But, but, but I called the police. I wanted to get him some help. He was gone before anyone knew anything…"

Dean couldn't hear anything she said. He was fixed on the picture in the paper. It looked like Sam. Save he was haggard, clothed in mud, a mustache hiding his boyish features. His feet were bare, visible even in the picture. A bag of gear slumped over his shoulders. A shep dog sat at sentry at his feet.

_Sam! _Dean's heart spoke headlines. Urgency. He nodded at the girl. The first place he would go to is the police station.

"Oh, yeah. We sent out an APB on that guy...the last place he was seen was up by Cold Springs Park_"

The words were barely said before Dean made haste.

Footprints and splashes. Someone had passed this way! Someone had vanished.

Just a step, a breath away. What on earth!

Dean knelt in the mud, holding his breath. His heart ached with hunger. Where oh where oh where?


	6. Chapter 6

**Green and what it meant_**

Sam slipped. He rolled and rolled, the light, the amulet, dancing in his eyes. It hurt. Stone against his back, against his gear pack. Yet, he laughed. His skin laughed. Because slipping in the grass cast up fireflies from their sleep. Green lights flocking to blue.

Some other light was that color once. Someone's eyes. Sam laughed. He laughed and his skin laughed as mud like mother's hands caressed him. He'd never had a mother's hands. Or he'd forgotten. His heart celebrated. The earth was his mother, the sky was his father. The star was his shepherd. And these green lights, these eyes, they adored him.

_Dean. _

The name came back like a gunshot in the dark. Sam's eyes opened wide_Even as the breath was knocked out of him. He landed on his back at the bottom of a sharp incline. A spring bubbled in the distance. It whispered over rocks, it cast up the fireflies dispensed in the air. Dissipating clouds breathed. Exhaled with Sam as he coughed and struggled.

Riot came and nudged Sam's side. The dog whined hoping to snap Sam out of his daze.

_Dean. _It was only a name, but it defined the whole earth.

Dean and greenness were one thing. Something that breathed and was meant to be cherished.

"Dean!" Sam laughed. It was a whole new thing. An essence. A force of nature. He had no idea what or who it was, but that name was something that existed in the core of his person. He felt it in the marrow of his bones. It was such a violent sudden feeling that it set the marrow to bubbling up demanding to give blood and life to that name if it needed it.

"Dean….Riot, that's what I wanted to find out. That's the name I was looking for…"Sam hugged the dog.


	7. Chapter 7

**All the pain that could be forgiven**

He was shaking. Seeing things. Dean cried. He cried and then he wept. Detox had started. The same thing that drove him from Lisa's home drove him into these woods. He wondered for a moment if it was alcoholism that had driven him here. If ever Death had called his name. If he was only looking for Sam because Sam was who he was longing for. Who he'd been drinking for.

But then, Riot jumped into the path. Riot barking, pointing his nose over his shoulders. Riot, greeting Dean as if he knew him.

Dean stared at the dog. More angelic than all of heaven's hosts that he'd ever met before. He smiled. Then, his heart jumped to his ears. A rush of blood. A rush that went to his limbs that sent him chasing, dodging down the muddy bank, agile like a cat.

He hit his knees at the bottom of a river bank. A spring bubbled and sang about him. The spring breathed. Water was dissipating in the air, lady's perfume with the sharp smell of honeysuckle and some vine mixing together. He could taste the threat of vamps, but he ignored it.

He stood up slowly and let his eyes adjust. There was someone running down the bank. Fast, anxious.

He came to a halt. After everything. Up against angels and demons, Heaven and Hell. Handpicked by God himself for this task.

The amulet burned between them. The star above them, unbeknownst to them, disappeared from heaven. God only ever let it be visible because it was the reflection of the pendant.

Dean felt his heart jump. Sam, who was dead, was standing 3 yards in front of him.

Riot ran to Sam's feet. The dog whined and pushed his face into Sam's legs.

"You found my dog." Sam smiled.

Dean felt his heart pinch. That was off. Like Sam didn't know him?

"Sam!" Dean stuck his hand out. Sam tilted his head to the side, confused for a moment.

All of a sudden, he realized it. His jaw dropped and he sputtered.

"Wait, I know you! I've always known you." Sam started laughing.

Dean rushed to Sam and nearly broke his back, throwing his arms around his prize like a quarterback fighting his way through an All-Star league game.

"Dean...The light was taking me to you…"Sam laid his face on Dean's shoulder.

"Y-Yeah? Shh…" Dean closed his eyes. This had to be a dream.


	8. Chapter 8

**First Meeting_**

"Sam…" Dean let out a sob and leaned back taking his brother's face in his palms. Sam giggled, like a little kid.

"Green...Your eyes. That's what it meant. Green is your color. That's why I remembered your name when_Fireflies!" Sam talked excitedly.

"Do you know me?" Dean gave Sam a little gentle shake. Detox was making him weak. He had to keep Sam's attention or lose himself.

"You're Dean?" Sam licked his lips. Dean laughed. He kissed Sam's forehead and leaned back.

"Yeah, I_I'm Dean. But do you remember me?" Dean gritted his teeth, scared for a moment at how blank Sam's eyes were.

"I've only been alive for 3 days." Sam smiled. Dean laughed.

"Okay...Well,...God! This is crazy. Okay…"Dean let his thumbs trace Sam's mouth. Sam never stopped smiling. Riot barked, ecstatic.

"Do you trust me?" Dean nodded hoping Sam would play along.

"Of course. You're the only one I know. Or knew. From the life-the-the other life. The one before I fell." Sam swallowed. Dean nodded.

"I'm your big brother." Dean smiled. This was like meeting baby Sam all over again.

Sam burst into tears inexplicably and hugged Dean close. Dean felt like he was walking on the moon as he stood there, dizzy, holding his little brother who cried like the baby he was again.

"I've got you…"Dean smiled. This was a dream. He knew it for sure now.


	9. Chapter 9

**Wide eyed wonder**

Dean brought Sam and Riot back to the Impala. Sam held onto Dean's arm nearly every step, save when they stopped to hunt. He was almost a child again save the savage way he hunted. Dean allowed him to grab at him, still trying to process the fact that Sam was real, not a figment of his substance riddled mind.

He opened the side door and let the loyal mutt climb up. Just this once Dean would allow a dog to hang out in his car. This was Sam's dog and that made him family.

Sam stared wide-eyed at Dean as he pulled the gear back down from his shoulders and stuck it in the trunk. They had both killed the vamps along the way. Dean tossed bloodied machetes in the back. He felt his brother's eyes on him but was still unsure if this was real, or this was heaven. Maybe Dean had died and this was all an angel's trick. The vision that he hoped to see and not the one that was.

Dean let Sam sit down in the shotgun seat. He sat down next to him. For a moment, they were in total silence with Riot placidly sleeping in the back.

Dean peered over. Sam was laying back against the seat staring at Dean with drunken eyes. He smiled.

When Dean didn't wake up, he realized this was real. That his little brother was _real. _

He burst into tears all over again.

"Whatever's hurting you...it's okay. It's okay. You're not by yourself anymore. Me and Riot know how it is...Huh, buddy?" Sam reached back and petted the dog. He barked quietly in his throat, a soft bark that hit Dean in the chest and suddenly made him love the dog too.

"Sam…"Dean would never get used to it. To the thought that when he said his name, Sam might answer him again. After so long of longing for_

"Yeah?"

"You wanna come home with me?"

"Where do you live?"

Dean smiled.

"I don't live anywhere."

There was silence.

"Well, then...If I'm with you I guess that...We're already home." Sam smiled. He wouldn't take his eyes of Dean. Dean must be his lifeline.

"We are...Yeah, little brother. We are. But, there is a place I crash when I get tired. Someone that I want you to meet again." Dean smiled.

Sam smirked. Dean had missed that smirk. The only thing that told him this was real was the bushy little mustache Sam had grown from days on the trail. Dean made a mental note to encourage Sam to shave that aging thing off.

Dean leaned forward and kissed Sam again, long and firmly on his forehead. With that, he turned the car back on. They drove to Bobby Singer's house.


	10. Chapter 10

**Living for the first time again**

Dean felt a giddy smile overtake him. The door creaked open, cautious. Bobby moving slower these days. Always slower, ever since the day Sam had disappeared from the world.

Dean put himself between Bobby and the newborn Sam. Sam stood with his arms folded, smiling placidly. Bobby's eyes went wide. He blinked, and his mouth turned upside down, all of his tears already cried, bone dry Mojave soul.

"It's him, Bobby. I ran all the tests." Dean swallowed.

Bobby looked at Sam again. He looked at Dean. The old man stammered. His knees nearly gave out.

Dean caught him. Sam was staring, compassionately.

"He-He cared alot about me, didn't he?" Sam's voice was mechanical. Far away. Bobby steadied himself. He looked from Sam to Dean then back at Sam.

"What do you mean I...did? I still do,boy!" Bobby spluttered. He reached his arms out and hauled Sam to himself as if Sam was water and he was a swimmer pushing it along in the race.

Sam embraced Bobby and smiled bashfully at Dean. Bobby pulled back. He felt how awkward Sam's body was. The doe-eyed look of cluelessness overtaking the scythe-sharp intelligence that once possessed those eyes.

"He...What does he mean...I did?" Bobby looked at Dean. Dean swallowed.

"He...He's like a...He's kinda like a baby, I guess. He remembers just, you know, like precious little about us, Bobby." Dean frowned.

Bobby looked at Sam again. He smiled.

"Mm, you're the biggest baby I ever saw." Bobby laughed. Sam giggled, truly like a child again. Bobby looked at Dean amused.

"Can...Can my dog stay?" Sam pointed at Riot who was lingering placidly by the car. Bobby smiled.

"Of course he can. Here,boy." Bobby clicked to the dog. The dog whined. Sam turned to him and nodded. Just nodded. But then, the pup came obediently and suffered Bobby and Dean to pet him.

Dean looked at Sam in wonderment. The man with the dark history of demon curses and Boy King of destiny was basically brand new, wide with wonder and one with the living things around him. They just understood him, and he them. It was a strange feeling, having him back and completely different, but also the same docile Sammy he had always been. It was even more like he was the old him again, completely in mint condition besides the trauma that had made him so shaky and new.

"Come on in, boys…"Bobby took Sam's arm and led him and Dean in to where chili was boiling in a pot and the smell of beer pervaded.


	11. Chapter 11

**Movie night_**

Being 4 days old now, Sam was filled with curiosity. Dean learned quickly that there were remnants of the old Sam still alive in him. When offered licorice (as one of Dean's many tests), he still despised it and laughed at how gross it was. He brushed his teeth frequently, and frequently field stripped his weapons. He ran his fingers through his hair and cleared his throat at awkward silences, and constantly researched when the conversation fell quiet.

Yet, Dean also learned that there were also whole vacuums in his mind where Sammy from the old life was completely gone. That's where Dean decided to Lego build him.

"Bobby, we ain't working tonight. Let's make a run into town. Get some snacks. I reckon it's time we had a movie night." Dean smiled. Bobby's eyes danced. Sam looked up from his laptop.

"Did we used to do that often?" The smile on his face made Dean want to hold him and never let him go. His eyes were so innocent now and yet he knew they had seen great pain. Pain greater than even Dean could imagine, and he had been in Hell once himself.

"Oh, yes…"Bobby got a faraway look, sliding softly through his favorite memories_The best of his life.

Sam stood up.

"I don't have any money…"He frowned.

"No, Sammy...Not a cinema movie night_although those are fun. Movies here."Dean smiled. Sam looked around at Bobby's immense DVD collection.

"You_You used to love movies. Lots of spy movies and family flicks about dogs...You always did love dogs_Long before Riot lived with a nice little rug in my garage. And _Free Willy_. You loved _Free Willy_…Least when you were a little grub..." Bobby's voice cracked up a bit. In a way, Sam was still gone. They were still grieving the old Sam from the old life.

Sam poked about the movies. He picked up a stack of Chuck Norris DVDs. Dean immediately felt a lump build in his throat.

"I don't remember which movies I liked, but Dean loved these…"Sam held up the action movies. Dean felt his heart skip a beat.

"And you...You liked snacks for the movies we would watch...I don't know how I know, but...You...You loved popcorn and you liked that nasty black stuff you were poking in me...Umm...licorice…"Sam smiled. Dean looked at Bobby. Bobby who was taken aback. That Sam would remember what Dean loved and not what he had loved said volumes. The way they were, soul mates, welded by God and the blue light that hung cold still at Sam's throat. Sam didn't know to give it back to Dean just yet...

"That's right." Dean smiled.

"You liked the chick-flicks too...Because there were always pretty girls in them. Your favorite one was _Hitch._" Sam's nose wrinkled. Dean laughed.

"I did…" Dean took Sam's shoulders in his hands, surprised by all Sam remembered in a brief second. Yet, Sam blinked, losing touch again, and his past life was lost in the gray of whatever his mind looked like now at 4 days old.

"What kind of snacks are we supposed to go and get?" Sam looked at Bobby and Dean confused.

"What kind do you think you would like?" Bobby stepped closer, shifting his feet to keep from getting weepy.

"You knew me better than I do."

Sam's reply ached in the room's echo.

"Yeah...Well, healthy stuff. Trail mix...Popcorn. You loved that kind of crap." Bobby smiled. With that, they went to the store.

An hour or so later they came back with bags of movie snacks, and popcorn, and beer. Sam sat down on the couch, unsure of how to help with the food. Dean pulled out a huge spread of DVDs to pick from. He chose from all the movies Sam had loved_ curious to see which ones he'd respond to now. Bobby came back in a few minutes himself with some beers, a bowl of ice, some cases of soda, and two big tubs of popcorn ranch-flavored salt and buttered like Dean always wanted.

He also set a bowl of fresh cherries close to Sam. Sam had adored fresh fruit_health nut that he had been. Bobby and Dean exchanged a glance, wondering what he would do now that this was all new territory.

Sam took the offered beer. He took one look at the popcorn and one at the cherries. When he saw the cherries, he smiled. Dean felt his spirit laugh inside him. Sammy was still in there.

"These are like really giant and pretty grapes…"Sam shoved a handful of the cherries in his mouth.

"Well_ they ain't grapes. They're cherries. You always loved them." Bobby smiled. Sam smiled again.

"I must have...Old me was pretty smart I guess, 'cause these are delicious. Thanks, Bobby." Sam leaned back in the couch and swigged some of the beer. He'd had that in his gear so he already knew he loved it. Dean laughed, realizing he had trained Sam well when he found beer and jerky in his gear pack a few hours after they settled him in last night.

"Hey, Sammy...Which one of these should we watch? You pick 'cause you're the least biased." Dean held up five different titles that Sam was always wanting to watch when they let him pick. He looked at them tilting his head curiously but without any recognition. Then he saw _Labriynth_.

Sam had been such a nerd when he was alive. As a teen, that one was one he watched all the time by himself if he was hurt on a hunt or sick and Dean made fun of him mercilessly. Even though Dean loved it too, even if it was only for David Bowie's part in it.

"Is...is this one good?" Sam pointed to _Labriynth. _Bobby quick went into the kitchen to cry by himself, remembering the kid Sam watching that movie on his couch in bygone days.

"Yeah, Sammy..This one' s pretty good…" Dean laughed and put it in, feeling himself near tears. He laid back on the couch and wrapped his arm around Sam's shoulders knowing that this rendered child-like version of his brother wouldn't rib at him for the chick-flick behavior.

"Dean?"

"Mm?"

"Why do you call me 'Sammy'?"

Dean felt the breath go out of his body.

"Our...Our Mom nicknamed you that. When you were a little baby...And Dad called you that...So, I've always called you that too...Since you were actually a baby and not just you know 4 days old again…"Dean smiled up at Sam. Sam looked over at him.

"Where are Mom and Dad now?"

"Oh, they...ahem...They're in heaven. With God and the angels, I guess…" Dean grinned. Sam nodded. Bobby came back in, dabbing at his eyes, and sank into his armchair with a personalized bowl of popcorn as the movie came on.

"Do we know any angels? It seems like I remember...I remember one...I see him in my head sometimes when I think about...Before."

"Yeah...Dark hair, blue eyes, dirty trench coat?" Dean smiled. Sam looked at him surprised.

"Yeah? You know him too then? I was afraid I just like...tripped him up or something." Sam shrugged.

"Nah, he's real. His name is Castiel. I'm gonna find out where he's at so you can meet him too. Uh, I mean, again." Dean gave Sam a gentle shake. Sam smiled and nodded. Then, he curled up at Dean's chest like he did when he was really little, younger even than 10. Bobby smiled at that, high on happiness and sugar. Dean smiled over at Bobby. Sam started asking questions about the movie now. Then, he remembered a few parts and laughed at himself for knowing.

Dean pulled him closer and kissed him on top of his head, which earned him a knowing little smirk from Bobby. Yes, he was being a girl about this, but how often would he as a big brother get his kid brother back for a first-ever Resurrection movie night?


	12. Chapter 12

**Little Green Army Men~**

That night, Dean was heading to the garage to pray. He thought the child-like Sam was sleeping. Now he thought would be a good time to call out to Cas.

"Dean…"Cas spoke behind Dean before Dean had opened his mouth. Dean spun on his heel in surprise. Cas' face was pinched evident even in the gathering dark of the garage-lot.

"Don't be surprised. I heard your hearts praying. For whatever reason, I could not find him before he returned to you and Bobby, but his heart's been calling to me for...For well, even from Hell." Cas frowned. Dean stood, jaw hanging open.

"You…"Dean shook his head.

"Damn it, Cas, come here." Dean took two steps and threw his arms around his best friend. Cas held Dean close almost like he was also a child. Dean silently appreciated that. Compared in age to this celestial spirit, he was so very young indeed. Cas had always been quite gentle with that and Dean loved him for it even if he lacked the vocabulary to tell him.

Cas leaned back and laid a hand on either side of Dean's face.

"I am glad to see you, Dean."

"Yeah, right back at ya." Dean sniffed back a snicker to keep from crying. Everything had been so messed up since Sam fell away from the world.

"Let's go see after our little brother…"Cas nodded and went into the garage.

Sam, to their surprise, was bowed over Riot, hugging the dog close. He was weeping softly into the dog's thick blue-tick coat. Sweet pup he was, Riot whined and nuzzled Sam's shoulder as if begging him not to weep, to no avail.

When Sam saw Cas and Dean, he stood up and palmed his face dry. But for the five o'clock shadow left by his hasty, Dean-anticipated shave, Sam's expression was again incredibly child-like and void of a full life's memory span.

"You! You're...You're the angel…The angel from the life before." Sam smiled like he'd seen God. Cas let out a shuddering breath, laughing and nearly crying all at once. Dean was amazed. Cas was so consistently stoic Dean sometimes wondered if angels even had normal emotions. He must be deeply moved.

"Hello, Sam. Yes. I am Castiel…" Cas crept closer.

"Castiel?...Cas, that's right…I...I remember you, Cas." Sam smiled and went and hugged Cas close. Cas pushed the boy's head down to his shoulder and ran his fingers through his hair. It was like a mother with a toddler. Dean chewed his nails to keep from falling to pieces.

"Why were you crying, Sam?" Cas talked softly, like approaching a dying horse on the roadside. Sam stood up, rubbing his eyes again. He laughed, incredulous.

"I...I can't remember her. I want to...She...She was beautiful…She was so beautiful that I...It made my heart hurt that she is dead."Sam stammered rubbing his arms. Cas tilted his head curiously.

"Who was she? The girl, the-the ghost. She talks to me when I am alone. She...God, she is beautiful! " Sam bit his lip.

Cas turned to Dean confused. Dean crept closer.

"What? What does she look like?" Dean held out his hand. Sam blinked, surprised to see him as well as if he had forgotten he was there.

"She...She...She is...God, she is beautiful! I-I think I am in love with her and her...her golden hair…"Sam sat down next to Riot, folding his knees in a campfire side sitting position. He burst into tears.

"She...She's always there. When I remember the...I-I sometimes remember the...The place where Lucifer was. The Void. She...Is she an angel too? She's robed in fire and she talks to me…She helps me when I can't...When I can't deal with all of this..." Sam swallowed, hands suddenly shaking.

Sam turned to look at Dean and Cas again.

"Her name was Jessica...She was...She was gonna be your wife one day, but...But she died." Dean held his breath anticipating Sam's reaction. Sam busted out laughing.

"What? No! Her? Me get with someone like her?! Ha! That's funny." Sam rubbed his nose.

"Why is that funny? She loved you very much. Her heaven is filled with memories of you…Otherwise, her spirit could not visit and console your own." Cas crept closer. Sam's head came up.

"She...She remembers me?... I don't...I don't remember her, though. That's not fair...That's not fair…" Sam lay down on the floor, chewing his nails.

"Sam...How much do you remember?" Cas knelt beside Sam. Dean came down and sat with them too. They were huddled now like 3 boys in a treehouse club.

"Mm...I only remember falling. Then, I was there. In the Dark. With him. He baptized me in fire for hundreds of years and peeled my skin away from me millions of times. After 100 years, it didn't hurt anymore, and I would forget...Well, I would forget…"Sam shrugged, face blank now.

"Will you tell me...Why I was there with him? I can't...I can't remember. I...I must have been a very bad person to have deserved it, though." Sam shook his head, annoyed.

"Tell the beautiful girl not to come back. I don't want to bother her." Sam shook his head annoyed with his own child-like mental capacity. Inside, he was still Sam with the charred and bleeding history, but his head didn't know that yet.

"Sam...You did not deserve what happened to you." Cas was indignant. Sam looked at him.

"Yeah, buddy...You_You saved the world." Dean smiled. Sam tilted his head to the side.

"No...No, you did. You were there...At the end. I wanted...I wanted you to be okay. So he wouldn't walk you over anymore. That's why I fell." Sam nodded.

Dean's jaw dropped. He looked at Cas. Cas looked at Dean amazed. He had been dead when Sam had completed his sacrifice and had no idea what had happened. Dean's eyes started watering.

"Mm, what?" Dean shook his head and his hand in front of his face, not processing this. He'd always thought Sam had somehow just muscled his way back to consciousness after he'd come to talk to him.

"You came...You tried to wake me up. I..I saw him beating you but I couldn't stop him. Then, I saw it...a little green army man in-in your car. I remembered you...I still remember little bits and pieces. It's always you...and your little green army men, and your green eyes. You...Green, absolutely green...You're the one who saved the world." Sam got up then and wandered off into the night, calling Jessica's name, asking her not to leave heaven anymore for him.

Dean laid his head in his lap, shell shocked.


End file.
